The S.H.I.T.T.S Podcast
The S.H.I.T.T.S Podcast
Exploring the Depths of Trust and Deception: A Guide to Emotional Intelligence and Authentic Relationships
Get ready for a mind-opening episode as we take you on a journey through the intricacies of human emotions and the web of deceit that sometimes surrounds us. Tune in as we share personal stories, from confronting loss to navigating friendships, that will leave you reflecting on the power of emotional intelligence and empathy. Join us as we peel back the layers of trust and explore the significance of therapy in forging authentic connections. With candid discussions on the impact of infidelity and the importance of communication, this episode is sure to change the way you approach your daily connections.
In this eye-opening episode, we invite you to join us as we delve into the complexities of trust and deception. Listen in as we share jaw-dropping stories of deceit, including a husband's intricate web of lies that had us questioning just how far some people will go to manipulate those around them. But it's not all about deceit; we also explore the vital tools of emotional intelligence and empathy. Discover how understanding ourselves and our emotions can lead to more authentic connections with others. From the nuances of social skills to the significance of therapy, this episode will leave you with a fresh perspective on the intricate dance of life.
Join us for a raw and honest conversation as we navigate the complexities of relationships and self-discovery. From the emotional aftermath of personal loss to the delicate dance of friendships, we share our own experiences and insights. Discover the importance of emotional intelligence and the impact it can have on our interactions with others. We also tackle the challenges of navigating the introduction of a partner to the family and the significance of communication in relationships. With thought-provoking discussions on self-awareness, therapy, and the pursuit of dreams, this episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking personal growth and healthier connections in their own lives.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We are now back at the shit's podcast, but we are either shooting the shit, starting some shit or picking up a shit left off. I'm your host, my son's the rather coolest cat you heard thus far.
Speaker 2:And this sugar I be carrying saying come see you with all the teeth and problems I give and people get their asses, and people get their asses.
Speaker 1:Woo and y'all. This week it's just me and B. Yeah, it's all it really man, just me and B. Yeah, all right, y'all gotta get some mad shots out to the ownership club. Y'all. Make sure y'all check out the ownership club every Sunday night PM to 11 PM or so, 106.3 FM, and then also for all my adults out there doing adults things, make sure y'all check out club infamous at iceloungenet. Yeah, there we go, b, how you week been.
Speaker 2:It's been great. Yeah, it's been really good, especially, you know, your taxes dropped That'd be a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1:Hey, I'm telling you. Beautiful thing I'm gonna go from. I'm gonna go get some JJ's to let's go and go downtown, go to eat. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:I'm gonna get some lamb chops. Yeah, I'm gonna get some crab legs.
Speaker 1:And you might bring somebody else with you. Yeah, yeah, at first it'd be you just just you and the hubby, or you and the wife, and they be like no, you know what, I'm gonna bring the kids with us, kids to come with us.
Speaker 2:You gonna bring the kids Cause these kids don't eat hot dogs and stuff. No more oh my goodness. They eat crab legs. I ain't never met a child to eat. I don't know. My child eat crab legs and shrimp.
Speaker 1:That's how my son is. All my kids is Chipotle, what's that? The Hibachi spot and what else. And when my daughter really liked crab legs, I'd be like I was coming up with us getting the pizza puffs and shit like that. You know what I'm saying. Like the pizza puffs and the motherfucking $5 cheeseburgers and shit like that. Shit way too expensive. So you gotta cook, though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you do have to cook. I remember like my mom she would make herself. She would go buy some steaks. Like all the adults that have steaks, we had to eat the chicken. You know what I'm saying, like if it was something. But you know it was just like y'all need no steak, y'all like six.
Speaker 1:But it makes sense, though, because the thing is, it's like you're going to be. I'm going to be honest. I'm going to be extra mad if I get your asses steak and you waste that motherfucking. You know what I'm saying. I'll be kind of pissed when you don't eat all the chicken. Off the phones too.
Speaker 2:What you eat. All the chicken off the phone, you supposed to. Hey, that's really some big bag shit. I know I got a big bag, I know I'm bad, but that's really some big bag shit. That's like wasting food though.
Speaker 1:That's wasting food, Like okay, so you're going to get a hamburger, eat half of it.
Speaker 2:You waste some food. Sometimes I do.
Speaker 1:Come on, you can't do that.
Speaker 2:Boy. I take the bread off of it when I eat half way there because I'm like it's just too much bread.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to stay off bread, especially since you came in and kind of came to me like that I'm trying to get off this fucking thing, you and my husband.
Speaker 2:It just seems like I don't know what be going on, hey we working on it.
Speaker 1:Ain't that right, Don we working on it.
Speaker 2:We working on it. It's a process, we working on it.
Speaker 1:It's a process. It's a process B. You got the tea this week. I know you got something.
Speaker 2:I know you got something for the tea, hey listen, I was just going to go live on my T-Stock with y'all. If y'all do not have T-Stock, download it, because it's a lady named Risa Tisa. And when I tell you she had a 50-point story of a man that she married and it was called who the fuck did I marry? When I tell y'all this man, he could have been like a VP for real, like a real salesman. This man convinced BMW, a real estate agent and everybody around him that he was a vice president of a company. This man made documents, fake documents, took it to a real estate company, told them for a mortgage for $750,000. This man had the real estate agent believing that he had $700,000 in cash and offshore accounts. We talking about a real estate agent. He was white. No, he was black.
Speaker 1:Okay, hold on no my wrong one. Go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 2:He had this lady believing literally that he had a two sisters and two brothers. The woman that he married, she thought that he had two sisters and two brothers. Okay. She said, every morning I would hear him on the phone talking to a guy that she said was his brother.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Come to find out, the nigga was holding conversations by himself. He was literally saying on the phone he'll say hey, my bro. He said hey and he said he can't wait to see you. She said he was having a long conversation with himself. Damn. She said she didn't think nothing of it because you can't hear what's on the other side of the phone. Let's put it on speakerphone.
Speaker 2:She said he even made her think that he had a sister and that she was supposed to go visit his sister, go see his sister. She never got to meet the sister because she said every time something would come up and he would be like yeah, my sister said, you know, something came up, or whatever this was doing COVID.
Speaker 2:She said it was like 2020. She said had it not been COVID, it probably wouldn't have worked. But this man told her he played arena football. He said he graduated from college in San Diego or San Francisco San Diego, one of the place. Like this man had a Trump type story. She said he was paying all the bills at the house.
Speaker 1:Wait, he paid all the bills.
Speaker 2:At her house. However, she still, to this day, she doesn't know how he was paying, because he was broke.
Speaker 1:Shit, he wasn't that broke.
Speaker 2:Like man when I say out of story was so amazing to everybody like the it's 50 parts Damn. Because this man said that his this man had said that his dad was a pastor and on the church when she finally talked to the brother, their dad was never a pastor and did not own a church.
Speaker 1:He was just a line, motherfucker.
Speaker 2:The man had a fame made a fake obituary. He said that his grandma and dad in 2020 of COVID talk to the brother and grandma and dad in 2008.
Speaker 3:Why.
Speaker 2:He was. She said he was in there crying about he was playing a role. Yeah, he even killed off his ex-wife's daughter. He cried one day and say he was crying one day and said his ex-wife's daughter had passed away. When she talks to the ex-wife, the daughter is alive and kicking.
Speaker 1:That's crazy. That's crazy, but you know what, though I can't even say? I can't even say that that's shocking. And this is why I say that, because in this day and age, it's not hard for you to get fake documents. You know what I'm saying. Like, technology has become so advanced that you can really create anything. I don't know if I was to create it they degrees I'm not going to say that name shit but I don't know if I was to create a day degrees for to get a job and get a certain certain, certain salary. I don't know if I was to have created birth certificates. I don't know if I was. That I made pastes and shit to create. Yeah, you know, everybody can create a fucking paste of, but it's like the amount of stuff that you can do with a computer.
Speaker 1:And sometimes even with your phone is fucking amazing. You know what I'm saying, and it's crazy, I mean. The thing that's alarming, though, is that the amount of research you have to do with people when you meet them. You know what I'm saying. Thanks, because motherfuckers will definitely be living like not even just double lives. Muffers will be living triple lives and shit nowadays. Thanks, you know, and it's like if you really, if a person is really able to put that spend on it and finesse you, they can get you to believe a lot of things too, but then sometimes I think, people go off of. I trust, I'm trying to trust you.
Speaker 2:You see what I'm saying, because that's what with her story, that I could see that that's what she was doing. She was trusting him, which I get it. However, I think what the crazy part is is that you have people out here like him that when they did get married, he put a whole different social security number on the marriage license.
Speaker 2:She didn't find out his real social security number to. She was trying to get a job with the I believe it was like the state or something so they had to run a background check. That's how it even kicked off, how she started trying to find out this stuff about him. Had she not and she was just working with the local growth store she would have never known, she would never ask.
Speaker 1:See what I'm saying. She would never ask because they felt like there's no need to. I trust you, so anything that you say to me, I don't believe that you have a reason to lie to me. So therefore, I'm a, I'm a role with it. Yo, fucking phone conversation sound like you talking to somebody, so why would I even question it? You know what I'm saying. Like, if you really think about it, how many other people probably do shit like that? You know what I'm saying. Like you really think they be on the phone talking to somebody and he not crazy as fuck. Hey, we got to take a break real quick and we come right back. Hey, shut up, I want to focus out there. When you got the CPN up and got them new cars, you're like that. And my bad, it's just podcast, it's the she's everybody be talking like they know what the shit is.
Speaker 2:The podcast is real. Check it on the mind soon and bubble ball. This black night shot the shits. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:We got an outback at the shit's podcast man and we just up here shooting the shit and we're talking about motherfuckers getting scammed and my focus on phone conversations by itself and it sound like they talking to somebody else on the phone and shit like that. So we were talking about the whole concept of trust, Right? So it made me think about the concept of emotional intelligence. You know that is.
Speaker 2:I, you know, I started on my research like oh no, I hear, because I really didn't know what it was. Like I don't, I still kind of sleep I do, but then I don't Okay.
Speaker 1:So I will, I will, I want to, I do want to like I can act like I'm flexing and just say I just know, right off top of the dump. But I'm going to read the definition. So it's the ability to recognize, understand and manage your own emotions, as well as being able to understand and influence the emotions of others. So when you think about that, what do you think about?
Speaker 2:Um, being able to control, I being able to control yourself. I guess you can say, like maybe your anger, yeah, you know um, yeah, so being able to control your anger.
Speaker 1:And also to piggyback off what you just said not just anger, but all your emotions. You see, you know I'm saying so. I was always taught that anger is a secondary emotion, so it's always something that comes before that. You know what I'm saying. So you think about when you get mad about something, it's anger, but it was really something that you felt before that anger. You know what I'm saying. So to me it's like emotional intelligence is knowing what was, what was that first feeling that you felt before you got angry. You know what I'm saying and if you think about it, so like, think about it.
Speaker 1:Like a lot of times it be sadness or fear or rejection, like that comes first before people get mad. But people, they don't be in tune with that shit, they don't be in tune with theyself, so it's hard. It's hard for them to recognize it and even after that, it's harder for them to even say it. And to me, I think that should apply to not just men but also men and women. That's why I think the shit is important and it's fucked up, in my opinion, that I felt like a lot of people don't really know about it, a lot of people don't really know about the whole concept of it. You know what?
Speaker 2:I'm saying yeah, I didn't like, and I for me, I never even thought about what I felt, you know, before I got anger, because normally my first reaction is anger. You know, I'm never. I'm not a real sad like, I don't get sad like.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna be sad Like one because I know that my feelings rage like that's because I get that from growing up. Like that's, my first feeling is anger. My first feeling is I'm gonna put my hands on you. That's how that's. That's the first thing that comes to mind when you do something. Somebody does something to me. It could be the smallest thing. I don't want to put my hands on them, but that's something that I am working on because I can go to jail. You know what I'm saying Like. So I have working on that at this point in my life, but back when I was in my 20s, if I could bring some people up here from Memphis, that know me they'll say we always thought you were crazy, because the first thing I would do is put my hands on you.
Speaker 2:I would know it was no crying. It would know nothing, even when I, even when I my ex, cheated on me or hurt me or anything.
Speaker 1:That's it.
Speaker 2:It wasn't hurt, though they thought out. People's like oh I know you hurt, hurt man, I'm feeling a turd in my head. I don't know how that hurt.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You know, and I'm gonna tear you up and then I ain't gonna think about you no more after that, right?
Speaker 1:But and think about that though, like when people do get cheated on you know what I'm saying. Like, just say, like for most dudes, when a dude gets you down, the first thing we, the first thing that we think about, is oh man, fuck that shit, let's go Fuck another bitch. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:So we think about you. Know what I'm saying, Like and we don't think about.
Speaker 1:We don't think about talking to our boys and saying man, she hurt me. We don't say shit like that you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:So the thing is that if you do, you come off this soft Go, you know, you know what I'm saying I ain't gonna say y'all come off as south, but I think, like it's just a now, I don't think men come off as south. If you're telling somebody, hey, this girl hurt me, if you were in love now, if every time we talk to you some girl hurt you, then, bro, you need therapy Cause at some point like how many women you just follow in and that.
Speaker 2:But if it's somebody that you have been with, we understand, like I would understand, right Me personally. I'm like man, that would hurt me too. I don't know what you get along. You ain't changing on me, right? So that's empathy. Yeah, so you can empathize with that. Yeah, I can empathize.
Speaker 1:But, you couldn't empathize with. You couldn't empathize if it wasn't a long amount of time that he been with the girl.
Speaker 2:No, I feel like he been with somebody two months. Mine suck it up gone, gone, gone somewhere.
Speaker 1:But how would you know, like think about it, how would you really know that the time that he spent, or the time that they seriously the time that he spent, or the time they spent together, that it wasn't that? That I'm just, that's it. No, you see that. No, you see that. You laugh at it, you laugh at it, but I can almost guarantee you, I can almost guarantee you it's a dude out there, or it's a female out there that's experiencing that.
Speaker 1:And they feel like shit, I don't care if we just been together for two months. We been together two months and they been the best two months ever, Like we really fucking connected, we working out. So yeah, I just kind of feel like, is that true empathy? You know what I'm saying? You couldn't empathize. You couldn't empathize if it was a shorter amount of time, but you can empathize if it was a longer amount of time. Like why is that?
Speaker 2:Because, okay, if maybe we was 18, maybe 21, maybe even 25, but at 30, 40, hey, two months, you barely scratching the surface, I don't even know if that's your real name Like, come on now you over here crying, hey, go see therapy, cause something happened. Something happened to your child.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I just kind of feel like I'm not. I look at it like this. I would at least feel like, let me hear you out, Let me give you the opportunities to really say, to really say everything that's happening, before I be like, come on, man, that's too soon. You know what I'm saying, that's too quick, Like for real. But think about it. If that was a woman, if a woman said the same shit, like she had been with this man for like two months and she thought it was like the real thing and he just broke her heart, would you look at her differently?
Speaker 2:than I will, and I be like hey, hey, hey.
Speaker 1:Why.
Speaker 2:Because I'm this hyper person. Anyway, I don't give you a week to mourn your relationship. Why? Because I just feel like you not gonna call me every day, talking about this same person Like for real.
Speaker 2:It's been still bothering them. You not gonna call me every day talking about this same person. I'm just not, finna, hear you like it's a week After a week, like it's time to like start talking about something else. So let's go do something else, girl, but every time we turn around you talking about this same thing, no, no, you not, finna, bother me and disrupt my peace because you still mourn over this person. No, you're not, and especially if it's only been two months, I'm really gonna be like girl, I'll probably block you, to be honest.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:Cause I don't wanna hear about somebody you only been with for two months. Y'all really want even together in a relationship.
Speaker 1:So now I'm gonna go back and I'm gonna subrede the shit again the ability to recognize, understand and manage your own emotions, as well as being able to understand and influence the emotions of others.
Speaker 2:And influence you tonight, then you can spend a relationship with somebody after two months and you will understand.
Speaker 1:But also to understand Okay, it ain't you, yeah, you don't like, you don't roll away, you feel like no, two months, I'm not invested like that but it's the ability to understand what somebody else is coming from, Not to say and not even to be like I agree with it or I would do the same thing, but it's the ability to understand it. Like I understand that shit bothers you, I also understand that that shit don't bother me, but I understand it bothers you. You see what I'm saying and since I understand that it bothers you, I'm going to respond in a certain type of way. Bam, there it is.
Speaker 2:You nice as hell. I'm just saying.
Speaker 1:But I think that I believe that that's what that's what emotional intelligence is. And I feel like if and I think the problem is this I think people feel like if I come at you that way, I'm kind of condoning your bullshit, you see what I'm saying, like I'm condoning your weakness, I'm condoning your sensitivity.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say this I don't, I don't feel like when we come back, I'm going to say what I got to say when we come back.
Speaker 1:I, yeah, we'll take a break real quick. Amen, shut up to all the more folks that been on people for like two months and they're about to get married and B-Session ain't come to the wedding because y'all soft as hell.
Speaker 2:Y'all still be, it's just shh.
Speaker 1:What up y'all? It's your boy, marsons Derot from the Ownership Club and the Shits Podcast, just letting y'all know about the hottest after party going on every Sunday at the Hatterway, 1245 Burnham Avenue in Calumet City, illinois. Every Sunday, 10 pm to 2 am. It's the shh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we are now back with the Shits Podcast and now at first we were just shooting shit, but now I think we started some shit, and it's really B that started some shit on the Shits Podcast. So you was about to say what.
Speaker 2:I don't even we didn't got on to some shows. Hold on what I didn't say I don't know.
Speaker 1:Okay, but let's ask this question, though. I mean for all listeners. You just something for y'all to think about Can you fall in love with somebody in two months? No, is that possible for you?
Speaker 2:Can somebody in the comments please tell me can you fall in love in two months, Two months?
Speaker 1:I think it's possible. If you I mean like if you really, if you really spending a lot of time with somebody, I think it's possible for you to fall in love with somebody in two months. I think it's definitely possible. Like, people get married in what I don't fucking get married in three months, six months. You know what I'm saying? Like it's happened before.
Speaker 2:Oh well, you know, I understand. You said that, like you don't you really said that like you don't I understand that that was the stupidest, dumbest shit that they could ever done in their life. Cause I didn't know what you gonna tell me, that you didn't got with this person and it fell in love with them, and you know what? That's how them people end up on those shows talking about song. They got married in the back yard. Yeah, you know them did, your honey.
Speaker 1:So let's go back the ability to recognize, understand and manage your own emotions, as well as being able to understand and influence the emotions of others.
Speaker 2:I never said that I was emotionally intelligent. I never said that. I didn't say that. I said I didn't know what it was. I am very self aware of who I am.
Speaker 1:There we go. Okay, cool, all right, that's good, that's good, that's good Okay. Cause you know what. I wanna throw out five characteristics of emotional intelligence, cause I'm glad you just said what you said. One self awareness. So you said you're very self aware of how you feel. Yeah, also okay. But are you also aware of what comes before that? Anger? Are you aware of that? No, okay, something to think about. Another one self regulation. Being able to be like all right, I know I'm mad about this, so I shouldn't even do this or, ah, it ain't happening. No, it ain't happening. Okay, I see, let's move on to the next one Motivation, I guess. Are you motivated to change it? Are you motivated to be like let me try to understand what's going on. Empathy. I got a lot of empathy, but not if it just been two months, though.
Speaker 2:No, and see, I got empathy for things that make sense. You know what I'm saying. I got empathy for that.
Speaker 1:Stuff that makes sense to you.
Speaker 2:Your mama said empathy.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. Something happy, you know with your job, empathy.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. You done been with your girl or your boyfriend or husband whoever you know what I'm saying For a year or more. Empathy, Okay, I don't have empathy for stupid shit.
Speaker 1:I just don't. And the last one social skills.
Speaker 2:I'm social, I'm social.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you know what? I'm glad you said that, because I think sometimes people get that shit mixed up. There's a difference between having social skills and being social. So what I get from you is, from the conversation that we've had, you're the kind of person that to me, that's what I get. You talk to people, listen to people. You respond to what you heard. Sometimes people just talk to people and they wait for the other person to get done talking so they can start talking again. You see what I'm saying? I don't think those are social skills. You see what I'm saying At all.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'm not saying I get that from you, but I think that that's something that kind of happens so many times. I don't think people truly understand the whole concept of social skills like reading body language, knowing how to read the room you know what I'm saying Knowing how to reciprocate in a conversation, if that makes sense. So the conversation is not always just about you.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying, so you can show the same amount of energy.
Speaker 1:You can show the same amount of energy when the topic is not just about what's going on with you.
Speaker 2:That makes sense.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, so I think that's all part of the whole concept of emotional intelligence. And the reason why I think the whole thing is important, because I think that's the reason why we don't have strong relationships these days.
Speaker 2:Like for our friends. Yeah yeah, I don't have a lot of friends Like.
Speaker 2:I got one too. What about you? Maybe two and a half, maybe two and a half, I think I got like two and a half. I mean I don't have a lot of friends because I mean I'm not gonna say I can't build, I'm not saying I can't maintain friendships, it's not that. But I'm the person that I. I don't accept any type of disrespect in my friendships, my relationships. I don't I treat you the same way that I wanna be treated. So if I ask you hey, you know my daughter is having something, you know what I'm saying Like, come through for my child. You don't come through for my child, instant Cut out.
Speaker 2:You cut out Because when it comes, to your instant cause when it comes to your kids. I'm coming through for your kid, you can't come through for mine. That's where me and my friendships in sometime Because it's like I go to bed for people's kids and then, when it's time for them to like okay, my daughter doing cheerleading at the time she would do a cheerleading I send out a text message. You know, hey, can y'all donate to her? You know stuff or whatever they don't donate.
Speaker 2:You know certain people then donate. So guess what? You're instantly cut off. Buddy, you know what I'm saying? We don't have to be friends. Like I'm wrong, like we don't have to be friends so I never talk to you, ever again. We don't even have to have discussion about it because at the end of the day, you knew.
Speaker 1:What if they give you, what if they give you a logical excuse of why not I be?
Speaker 2:waiting on it. I get them about a week to explain to me, because I even like I say hey, you know how you doing, you know what's going on, you know how you doing, I don't just be like oh, you cut out. I'm like, hey, you know I sent that. I sent that follow up text hey, how you doing? How's that? I've been going with you. No response because they think you finna ask about that stuff with your kids.
Speaker 3:So they don't respond. So at that point.
Speaker 2:I just know like hey, you know what?
Speaker 1:I don't fuck you I don't fuck you, I'm straight.
Speaker 1:So, that's interesting because I was just having that conversation, too, about how do you handle that, like, how do you handle that when it comes to relationships and you feel like people don't show up? You know what I'm saying. Like you invited motherfuckers to house warmers, you invited motherfuckers to kids parties, and you know what I'm saying Muffer, never show up. It's like what is that Like? First of all, what does that say to you? And here's a deeper part about that how does it make you feel Because, if you think about it, a lot of us ain't gonna be like, a lot of us ain't gonna call it motherfuckers like man really made me feel a certain type of way because you're gonna show up for my kids, shit. We just be like you cut off. Yeah, you see what I'm saying, but what stops us? Cause you shouldn't have to explain.
Speaker 2:We, not kids, no more. You know what I'm saying From coming from our age group. You know what I'm saying. We're not kids. You know what you need.
Speaker 3:Now when.
Speaker 2:I was in high school, I would probably explain when I was 18, I would explain 21,. I was explained, but at this age that we are now, you know exactly what you did because they avoid you. So when people avoid you, they know exactly what they did. Because I'm gonna tell you something, Somebody who was just oblivious about what they they still be. Hey, you know what's up how you doing.
Speaker 1:That's a good point. And then you be like I need you to realize you're showing up motherfuckers like that.
Speaker 2:Oh, my bad, I had some stuff going on. The people who really know that they be avoiding you you can call them three, four times, text them and you won't hear from them at all. And then two months later they'll come back with an excuse. You know I had this going on, I'd be like bye.
Speaker 1:I'm here trying to hit that shit. I don't care.
Speaker 2:We all got story to tell you.
Speaker 1:So just just you, you being as honest as possible with yourself. What makes it hard for you to be like I can keep you around, even after you like cause it ain't like they say, it's not disrespectful to you. But what makes it hard for you to be like I can keep you around even after you didn't show up?
Speaker 2:What's so hard for me?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I ain't gonna even say I'm just cold-hearted like that. I'm not really a cold-hearted person. But if you want to be completely honest, I always tell people if I could get through the fact that my mother passed away. You ain't got nothing coming from me, baby, when you know, something of me Wow.
Speaker 1:You ain't got nothing, Wow. So on my end I would say the thing that makes it kind of difficult for me is that I kind of feel like you disregarded me, Like the shit that I had going on meant nothing. You see what I'm saying and it kind of gets in the way of me still like hanging out with you, Cause in the back of my mind I'm thinking like you disregarded what the fuck I had going on. All right, so I gotta take a break real quick. Ay, yo shout out to motherfuckers out there. Man, when you invite them to something, they actually come through. Everybody else, like I said that this is just bar cash out, this is shh.
Speaker 2:Hey everybody, it's comedian Stephanie Robertson with the shits. Come check it out. You can follow me on Instagram at Stephanie underscore underscore Robertson. I will see you there. Make sure you to follow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We are now back with the shits, bar cash, and, like I said, it's official. We started some shits. Tonight. It's just me carrying to myself and we talking about emotional intelligence, people being aware how they feel, people being aware of the feelings we get when we feel like we fucked over, and so you were just talking about the whole concept of therapy and the importance of therapy. Like, really elaborate on that.
Speaker 2:Before I went to therapy I was more of a hothead than what y'all how. Y'all hear me talk Like I talk hard anyway, because my mother talked hard. You know what I'm saying, but I curse you out quick.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I will fight you quick. I don't care. I didn't care about you, I didn't care about what you was going through. Once you did something to me, it was instantly.
Speaker 1:I don't give a damn. I don't give a fuck about you.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. So going to therapy made me realize like you can't be like that and you really just had some unprocessed grief.
Speaker 2:About your mom, About my mother. Like my mom, was my dog. You know what I'm saying. Like that was my homie, Like I could call her and talk to her about anything. You talking about gossip, I ain't. I never really cared about having friends real talk, because I could talk to my mom about anything. If me and my anybody I dated we ever broke up a song and let's say, oh, I was mad at them. My mom was so cool.
Speaker 2:She was like I'm gonna call him and talk to him and I'm gonna tell him to come over here so y'all can have a conversation. You know what I'm saying? And when she left this earth it was like forget about it. And so that's what I had. Even getting with him, even getting with my husband, I still had that hardcore you know what I'm saying Like he even used to be like do you even like me?
Speaker 2:You love him Like he's like do you like me Because you're so mean? Like he used to say I was mean, and then I didn't think nothing of it until my daughter said I was mean.
Speaker 1:Oh, the kids do something.
Speaker 2:She said you mean mama, and I was like what. And then one day me and him got into an altercation. And you know what, I'm gonna be honest. We got into an altercation and I hit him so hard. And you know I hit him so hard. He was driving. Well, if he wouldn't have had his hands on the wheel, we would have ran into three-part cars because I hit him so hard. It knocked his glasses to the side.
Speaker 1:I feel like I don't wanna laugh at that, but it's a part of the good though. So and.
Speaker 2:But then our child was in the car too. Oh, I'm definitely laughing now. And that day he packed his stuff and was like hey. I'm gone, I'm gone. I'm not you put your hands on me, you know cause he always had told me that, cause he don't hit women. So he was like I told you if you will put your hands on me, you're going to jail. No, he was like. He was like. He like I had to play with you, you going to jail.
Speaker 1:There we go, there we go.
Speaker 2:And so when I did that, I felt after I stopped being angry I did feel bad. My baby girl was crying. She was, you know, everybody would you know. It was just just messed up. So that's when the therapy started and that's when I realized all the unprocessed grief I had and I was so I was actually hurting because I never processed the grief. My mother passed and I never processed that. And when I say I never processed that, I'm still walking around, I'm still here. I never went to my mama grave Still has never been.
Speaker 2:She, but she very recommend this, yeah, I still, even when I was in Memphis, never been Wow, after the federal it was up. I act like that never. I act like that day never happened.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, self-awareness, self-awareness.
Speaker 2:And you know, what.
Speaker 1:I've been thinking about that because, like, like that should be hard. You know what I'm saying, like for you really to be aware, like for you really to be aware of the shit that really bothers you. Like it's easy for us to really be like I know what makes me happy, you know, like I know what excites me. But I think it's a different, it's a different challenge to be like what really makes me sad. You know what I'm saying. And then, like, can I even express that? Like, can I even express that to somebody else that this makes me feel sad?
Speaker 3:Especially. Like I'm being honest with you, I'm saying it from a man's point of view. I don't think a lot of men can.
Speaker 1:You see what I'm saying. Like I don't think a lot of men can truly say what makes them feel sad, anything else but happy. Because there is this fear that if I do, if I do really tell you how I'm really really feeling about something late on, when you get mad now, all the shit gonna come up. That was me.
Speaker 2:And I'll be honest, that's how I was Like when you tell me something about yourself, and once I got, get mad. I'd be like that's why your mama put you up for adoption. You know, like that's me, that's how, that's how a person I used to be, you know. I would say some stuff like that, you know, because I used to feel like if you go low, I'm gonna go to hell. You know what I'm saying. That's how.
Speaker 3:I used to feel.
Speaker 2:But that's not okay, because at the end of the day, when somebody confide in you and they tease with stuff and everything, you gotta even if they do go low you kinda gotta Empathy. Yeah, you gotta have that empathy Like I ain't gonna even say that, but you do gotta get the hell up out of here though.
Speaker 1:Right and you know what. So the interesting part about that is, and what I realized with myself, is this I'm quick to just cut them off.
Speaker 2:You see what I'm saying, like I'm not really big for like you look like it, yeah, totally.
Speaker 1:Okay and my, but this is what I had to realize. I had to really understand why I feel that way. I had to realize why is that easier to me? And I'm not saying that it's right, but I will say this much it makes me feel better. It makes me feel so much better because I feel like, for one, I don't like arguing with people.
Speaker 3:I just really don't, I feel, like arguing doesn't solve shit.
Speaker 1:The only thing that happens is you just got two motherfuckers. That's yelling and nobody's listening to the other person. For me, cutting you off makes me kinda feel like you didn't exist or you don't exist. See what I'm saying, and and I'm not saying that's the best thing to do, but a lot of times it's made me feel better because I kinda feel like I'm really protective. I'm really protective of my self esteem. So I don't wanna, I don't want shit to come in or happen that's gonna jeopardize my self esteem, dropping any levels. You see what I'm saying. So if your ass not showing up to functions and I didn't, I didn't, I didn't invite at your ass to my daughter's birthday parties and house warmers and shit like that and you never fucking show up and don't even be fucking still talking to you.
Speaker 2:In my opinion.
Speaker 1:That's how I feel.
Speaker 2:That is how it is. I shouldn't. I don't. Why am I constantly trying to get you to come to events and invite you out? Now, there's another part to that, because if you know your friend, because I'm that friend, I'm sorta an introvert. In a sense, I'm an introvert slash, you know, extrovert a little. You know I'm a little bit of both. I may not come to your shit cause I'm a person that I don't really like to meet new people. Okay.
Speaker 2:And half the times when I my friends, they have other friends and I always tell them this is not a group effort, that those are not my friends. I didn't meet them. I didn't, I didn't meet them like those are your friends. Oh fuck them. Yeah, I don't mess with them and half the time I don't like them. So, with that being said, my friend, be like. I know you not coming, but I will. I will get you something. Yeah, excuse me, you know what.
Speaker 3:I'm saying I'm gonna get you something.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna send you some money, I'm gonna do whatever for you, but just know I'm not gonna be there. Now, if it's a big event like your graduation, I'm there, I'm there. Your wedding, I'm there. But, girl, you had 35 birthdays. I'm gonna send you this money and I'm not coming cause I don't like your friends.
Speaker 1:Hey, we gotta take a break real quick. Hey, yo shout out to all the motherfuckers out there that send you at least $20 on a cash out on your birthday. This is the Shits Podcast. It's the shiiiit.
Speaker 3:What up, ladies and gentlemen? It's the Milk and Dream, the milk and nightmare of the heartbreak at Young Barker. And when I come to Chicago I check in. I get on the radio with the Shits Podcast. One more time, man Give a big shout out to the Shits Podcast, young Barker Productions. Man Hollis, we out here.
Speaker 1:Ch-ch-ch-ch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we are now back at the Shits Podcast. We are shooting shit, starting some shit or picking up shit left off. So now I guess we picking up what shit left off? So the question is for all the dudes out there why is it difficult okay, yeah, why is it difficult for a dude to tell another dude that you hurt my feelings? Instead, we just like I said. Instead we say stuff like you both ain't as hell.
Speaker 1:You both is. You know what I'm saying. Like you on some bullshit, but at the base, at the root of all that is, you hurt my feelings. That's what it is. But dudes can't say that.
Speaker 2:Hey, I don't think girls women can say it. I don't know. I'm a woman and I never be like oh, you hurt my feelings, girl. I'm like man. You own that bullshit.
Speaker 1:Oh, I think women can say it.
Speaker 2:I think women can say it, Women can say it but I'm just, I'm saying like women can't say it, I was just never been that type, I've never been that one. Oh my God, like Kathy, you hurt my feelings.
Speaker 1:And look and now think about that. It comes off as soft, it comes off as soft.
Speaker 2:I ain't gonna say it's soft. I think it's just depending on where you, how you was raised and where you came from. Because, like for me, like I said, I'm a woman soft and I ain't gonna say soft, she wasn't really. She was like loving you know, what I'm saying, but she was really like suck that shit up. That's how she, that's how it was raised. Like you suck it up, girl, you better girl If you don't go putt you're over, so it's passed down to you, right?
Speaker 1:So that leads me to the next question is how we passing this lack of knowledge, of emotional intelligence down to our kids, and how are they gonna be?
Speaker 2:And I get what you're saying because he is the emotional, intelligent part of our household. Technically, because for me I'm still rough around the edges, because when I tell, like, when I talk to my baby girl, you know, you know that's my baby girl, when she tell me something, I don't come off the softest. You know what? I'm saying Like the night, like he be, like you know, baby, you know she is really hurting and I'm like she 12, like fuck that little nigga.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying, like all right you know they don't wanna be your friend girl, you ain't gonna even remember them people when you getting high school by the time you get it, but you ain't gonna know them people, you not gonna remember them. That's how I think. But to him he's like but you gotta understand, she is 12. So she hurting and I'm like you right, you gotta not go give her a hug, Cause I always hug anyway, but I be like you stop.
Speaker 1:And you know what I can understand that. I could definitely understand that because, like, I think about my oldest, so like my oldest first really had like that heartbreak. You know what I'm saying. I thought about it and I was like, and I was talking to my boy, tron, about it I was like, man, do I have the father conversation with him or do I have the man conversation with him? Because the man conversation is man, fuck that shit, go get you. You know what I'm saying, go get you another, whatever. But can that really be? Can that really be the father conversation, especially when he, especially when your mother is in the household. You see what I'm saying, right? So that's kind of like, what do you do? So I really I would. Just I tried to be as honest as possible and I'm like, look, I don't really think you, at the age where you really need to be putting the label, you know what I'm saying On these women like, don't, don't put a label on them this early, not saying go out there and be a hoe, you know what I'm saying, but don't necessarily put a label on them.
Speaker 1:You get what I'm saying. And have female friends. Have female friends, because it's perks to it. I understand. I understand, have female friends.
Speaker 3:And I mean.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure women may feel like if you have male friends it's fucking perks to that too.
Speaker 2:No cause, if you my homie, you just my home. Now I'm gonna find you is, if that's the difference. That's why I say like I guess I can say like I relate more to men than I do women.
Speaker 2:Because women, just to me, it just seemed like some of the stuff they be saying is just like huh, you know cause I don't see myself like once, you my friend, you my homie, like you will never cross that threshold. I don't care if you the finest, like, if every girl come around like he's so fine, okay, you date them. You know what I'm saying. That's my friend, you know, I know everything about him. There go dating him, you right.
Speaker 1:So when you wait, so when you do know everything, when you do feel like you know everything about a person, does that tend to make you gravitate? More to him and look at him in a different light, or there always just be a friend.
Speaker 2:There always just be a friend, because it's the pain, like if I know, I know everything about you, like it's like no, and majority of the time the guys I end up being friends with they hoes. So it's like they look so nice on the outside and so sweet and everyone become a radical, like, oh girl, he's so cute and he's so nice. He had the door and he was so sweet and I'm like girl, he gonna knock your boots and you're going to be hurt.
Speaker 1:Right, cause he's slug, cause he didn't explain it, cause he didn't explain it, he didn't say it in the door. It's a difference. I think it's a difference. If you sit in the door like, look, it's not going to be a relationship, we can hang out. If anything comes about it, then it's just what it is.
Speaker 2:And when you touch the back of her soul, whatever you told her went out the door. Went out the door. That's what you all, that's what me and I understand, either you can tell, unless she a player too and I know women is like that, there's some players too Unless you got to know what type of woman you dealing with, because you got women that'll be like, okay, I understand, but if you have had conversations with her and she like you know, I want to get married one day.
Speaker 3:In two months.
Speaker 2:I want to okay, yeah, those kinds I want to get married one day. I am, you know, I want to do this. I you know you shouldn't even be messing with her, because you know what type of person you are, so don't even ruin that young lady.
Speaker 1:Right, no, that's a good point. That's a good. I mean, like that is it's a good point and I feel like as much as dudes, as much as dudes try to really be upfront about shit, what you just said made a lot of sense. Like it doesn't matter Once you really put it on motherfucking and like the quality time is there and y'all have connected on like conversation wise. Once you really put the dick on it and you know what I'm saying, like you said, touch the soul, touch the back, some shit like that, snatch the soul and shit like that, shit becomes totally different and it's like yeah, and then you turn around.
Speaker 2:There's nothing to that. I think the guys fail to realize as well. Nothing is sacred anymore, Like I remember back in the day when a girl met your, when a girl met your mom, she was the one. Now, everybody meet your mama, Everybody meet your mama. Like why? Why is everybody meeting?
Speaker 1:this lady. So funny that you said that, because I can't even tell you how many, I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna say it, but my wife probably laughed at that shit, because the amount of it will stop.
Speaker 2:I'm just like seriously like why is everybody meeting your mama? Like what that's supposed to be. Like the last, that's supposed to be the most sacred part, and it's supposed to be the part where you like. You know what. Cause, that's true. I remember when a girl could say I met his mama. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:I think that is my it is miss on.
Speaker 2:Now you be like I met his mama. He was like everybody met this nigga mama. You ain't the first one Niggas been bitching to see his mama's cause they, walking through the living room Like everybody, meet his mama and shit.
Speaker 1:Right, damn, that is crazy. Damn, that's a good ass point. That's a good ass point. Nothing is sacred.
Speaker 2:I'm talking about people. They take you to do it. I remember when taking somebody to your folks house for Christmas miss on. Like they like. That's the one they didn't meet. Five different bitches, five different Christmases. They meet up Christmas. They didn't meet everybody you like damn.
Speaker 1:It means to the point you be like you really gotta put them to the side and ask them to name again Because you don't wanna see, you don't wanna call a different name. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, then you really be fucked up. Hey, gotta take a break real quick. And man shout out to all the motherfuckers out there man, they'd be a brilliant one female around for Thanksgiving, and then it'd be a different one for Christmas, and we don't know which one to get a present for. And man, this is just podcast. Man, it's the shit For all of Roddy Needs and Fantasy Needs. Please contact coldpleasurecom.
Speaker 1:We are now back at the shit's podcast and we had this talking about meeting people's moms and shit. And should it be a rule? We gotta put a time limit on when you can meet, when they can meet your mom. So Derrick said two months. They gotta be together for at least two months. I'm gonna stress this shit out and say four months. Don't bring them to the crib, don't have them come meet us until y'all been going hard for four months. What you saying?
Speaker 2:A year. I don't wanna see them. Look fucks. I don't bring them over here, I don't kill babe. They can't come over here. Don't come in my driveway, Just gone.
Speaker 1:You said a year.
Speaker 2:Yes, you gotta be together. I need to know that. This is solidified. I don't wanna meet no little nappy head little boy. It's six months or three months, and then I'm just getting used to this little nappy head boy. Now it's another little nappy head boy and now I'm just like, okay, absolutely not. And then you are absolutely. It's not, absolutely not. And then you are a girl. That's another thing too. I don't care how people switch and flip it, rub it down. It is a double standard. You are not gonna be bringing all these boys. I don't care how many you talk to on the phone, but you, I don't care. I care At the age when she gets to that age, I don't care how many boys talk to on the phone. I mean baby, your options open. However, don't do not bring anybody here unless you're having together for a year. And actually, yeah, is it your?
Speaker 1:is it your fault, damn that might have to be the new rule right there. God damn it. All right, so I'm gonna throw this shit out there. So four ways of how to develop emotional intelligence Just four. I mean it's a lot, but I'm gonna read all four. Practice observing how you feel. Yeah, being someone like really on up to that shit. You ain't gotta tell everybody, but at least tell yourself, as you realize, how you feel. Two pay attention to how you behave.
Speaker 1:You might really wanna take that one in right there. Baby Three. Question your own opinions, that's another one.
Speaker 1:That whole two month thing I'm wondering. Question that a little bit. And number four take responsibility for your feelings. Like it's cool for you to have them. You get what I'm saying. Like I think sometimes people be feeling like it's wrong for me to have these feelings. Like, no, that's how you feel. You get what I'm saying. And the sad reality is this there's some shit that you can't change. So let's just say that you have feelings for not you, but just say somebody has feelings for another man or a dude has feelings for another woman. Those are your feelings. You gotta realize. How the fuck do I feel like this? You see what I'm saying. Like what is it about this other person? What is it about this other person that they're giving me or they're doing that's making me feel this way towards them, and what do I feel like I'm not getting from?
Speaker 2:Right and you can say where the fuck you at Cause. Listen, what I don't care about is what this other person is doing for you, because if you felt like I wasn't doing what I'm supposed to be doing, leave me, sweetheart, cause that, that cause, that cause you're not. After I find out what you did, you achieved it whatever. It's not gonna be what you think. I'm not gonna sit down and be like you know I, you know, I believe you know I did something and I know that you went over there to that person.
Speaker 1:Right, and I'm not saying you gotta do that. No, I'm not saying that. Oh, oh. I love the way you said that, cause you said it like God I'm gonna gotta spy on you. You said she's like that's a spider.
Speaker 2:She's like that's a spider. I'm like what the fuck? But nah, but, but I'm not. I'm not that. I guess I'm not that emotionally intelligent to reason with the fact that you felt like you was gonna go over there and cheat and I was. You was gonna come home and tell me well, you know, they listen to me Well go back over there for them listening to you some more. They gon' need to listen to you Cause I'm gonna kick your motherfucking ass.
Speaker 2:So they gon' have to listen to you anyway, but I'm just saying like I'm not that emo, Like I don't care, I don't. Once you have you can talk to me before they tell me whatever is going on. Right. And it's depending on how you come to me and that's we gonna talk about it. But after you've already done something, I am not that emotionally intelligent to listen to why you did what you did. I don't care, I never, I don't care and I will never care.
Speaker 1:So let me ask you this, so kind of like how we said before, anger is a secondary emotion. So once you hear a motherfucking tell you that they went or you called a motherfucker doing something that you feel like they weren't supposed to do, that first emotion was what?
Speaker 2:I beat his motherfucking ass. No, what you tell me all. No, I mean, I'm not gonna tell you. Hold on, cause we finna get some, we finna get wrong.
Speaker 1:No, I'm saying the first emotion.
Speaker 2:I beat his ass. Hold on, I finna tell you, I beat his ass, I beat his ass. It was hurt. No, I wasn't. I beat his ass. I was bad as a motherfucker. I beat his ass. Okay.
Speaker 2:He cheated and I walked his ass. Oh shit, I punched him in his chest, I beat the fuck out of him. So I'm an honest person. I never said up here and be like, oh, my relationship and my marriage is perfect and rosy and shit. That nigga done, did some shit. You know what I'm saying? Right, I beat his ass. Well, I ain't cry. Ask him, I ain't cry.
Speaker 1:I'm not about to ask him.
Speaker 2:You can ask him. Did I cry?
Speaker 1:But. But I'll say Did I cry? But here's the thing, though B All right. Here's the thing, though that was an emotion that was before anger you know that there was no emotion before that.
Speaker 2:I see, I've seen what I've seen. And he was standing, he was laying, he was sitting in the bed and he was smiling. He was happy. He thought Saturday was gonna be. He thought that Saturday was gonna be great. I remember it. He thought it was gonna be ha, hey, okay, yeah, he, he, he was he. I looked at it, I said oh, okay, and I said boom and he said oh and he was like he was sounding good, he that took his breath away.
Speaker 2:Oh, the fuck man, and I was, and I just started, hey. I started swimming and he was like Right. And I was like hey, I don't got time for this. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, so it was, I wasn't, I wasn't hurt, I wasn't mad, I wasn't. I was mad because I just that's my point. What was your mind about?
Speaker 2:though, man you want, I don't care what, and this is another thing I want you to understand too. Okay, I don't give a damn what you do when you're not at home. They ain't got shit to do with me, cause, whatever dog gonna come to the light, I don't check phones, I don't do nothing. So when something comes to me, I feel like it was meant Okay.
Speaker 1:I believe in that.
Speaker 2:My ancestors and my mother brought it to me.
Speaker 1:Okay, you said the ancestors and my mother she'd be up there watching. I don't know what's gonna be.
Speaker 2:So she brought it to me. So I, I don't care what you do outside, but don't be sloppy. He was sloppy, right? You know what I'm saying? He was sloppy with his shit. If you're, you need to leave the messages. You ain't nothing, you just thought she don't check phones, right, so I can just be in this junk. Really, nearly Right, that's what he was. He was willing, nearly Right. He ain't think I was gonna do that.
Speaker 1:But you said you don't check phones.
Speaker 2:Cause I don't.
Speaker 1:Not no more.
Speaker 2:No, I don't. I was asked could I use his phone?
Speaker 1:Cause my phone went dead. Yeah, that's the easy way to get your ass, yeah.
Speaker 2:My phone went dead so I was like let me see yours. I don't go through phones. It was just so happening when I was. I had swiped, I did something and I seen the message and I was like, oh okay nigga.
Speaker 1:Oh, like I ain't nigga.
Speaker 2:That was meant to be Peter and Paul was like hey, show her that, yeah, I was like, ah, this nigga here, yeah, he sloppy with his shit, cause he done went to Vegas with his homeboys and everything. And I tell him go ahead and have your phone. I am not a jealous type of person. I ain't the fan is and I ain't the baddest, but I damn show the realest. And so you can't be real T-shirt, you can't be real, okay, so therefore I let him you go have your phone. You going out with your friends, I'm not gonna be standing over there like a motherfucking inspector. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:I'm a hover and, oh, you like an airplane buddy, go and do you. But if I catch you doing something that you weren't supposed to do and you and you, you, you being sneaky, I'm gonna beat your ass.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, so.
Speaker 2:I might. I'm not that emotionally intelligent. That's why I say I go, I'm in therapy. Yeah, Y'all ain't understand. I keep saying it.
Speaker 1:But you know what? What I love about Adobe is that you, you, you own that shit. You know what I'm saying. Like, you own it, and I think that's like the first step to it, because everybody not there. Hey yo, we got to take a break. A quick man, we're going to wrap this up. Hey man, I love this shit. Hey yo, it's the shit's podcast. It's the shit.
Speaker 4:Right. And what is it? It's all about the shit. Either you the shit or you not. And when you the shit, you got the ism. You got the realism whatever other words you wanna use and you put ism on it, you the shit of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are now back at the shit's podcast and it says be Carrington and myself as dare spider a recipe to the family, me recipes to the spider and I could dole us into the family. So Smoking on that spider pack.
Speaker 1:Uh huh, um man, check it out y'all. Uh, we just wanted to do this shit today because, well, i'ma say it from my point of view I just kinda feel like people need to people. I feel like people need to get more in tune with how they feel and understand why they feel that way. So don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that everybody can fall in love with them too much. I'm not saying that you have to be totally understanding when I'm all fucking cheap and all like that. However, what I am saying is this understand why you feel the way that you feel and make the attempt to try to understand how someone else feel, not saying that the way they feel is the gospel truth. But I just kinda feel like if I can kinda get an understanding of why you feel the way that you feel, I may be less likely to be like nigga, you want some bullshit. You know, I may be like oh, you do, you do shit like that. You see what I'm saying? It is motherfuckers that I deal with and I be like oh yeah, that's kinda what you beyond. Can I understand that? So I think when you look at stuff like that, you are less likely to become so how can I put it?
Speaker 1:So agitated by people because you expect it. You know what I'm saying. Like you expect that they gonna do some bullshit or I guess in my case, you expect that they not gonna show up to the gathering. You know what I'm saying. So, really, I just sent you the fucking invite because I'd have come in courtesy. You know what I'm saying. But I already kinda figured your ass ain't showing up. So I'm not as mad as the first 15 fucking times that I invited your ass. You know what I'm saying. But yeah, it was just to encourage people to really try to have those conversations with yourself and figure out how you feel. And, like you said, therapy is not bad. You know what I'm saying For African-Americans, hey, you like that fucking therapy. Because I'm telling you our ancestors and our grandparents and great-great-grandparents I can almost guarantee you they wish they had access to fucking therapy.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I think people need to stop making it seem like therapy is just for crazy people. It's not. It's for people. Sometimes people wanna talk to someone who is not gonna be biased or maybe not family and they don't know you at all, so they're paid to pretty much listen to you you know what I'm saying and give you tools to go home with to help yourself to regulate those feelings and to understand why you're so angry. And they give you those tools, you know. And they also give you little activities to do.
Speaker 4:You know to work on that. You know what I mean. They tell you the journal, your homework.
Speaker 2:They tell you the journal and things like that. I know I play a lot and everything, but also, just being honest, I am working on myself, me and my husband we're currently in therapy. I tell you, nick is cheated, but I'm just saying, like we currently in therapy or whatnot, but I'm not saying this for everyone, man, everyone. You don't have to take the man back or anything like that, if that's not what you feel.
Speaker 3:But I love man.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying? I know he messed up and he was apologetic about it. So we decided we gonna go to therapy, we gonna try to, we gonna fix it. And I also have to look at myself like I was mean, cause I used to talk crazy to him and everything it went out his fault. I would, I'm not saying but I'm saying therapy, that's where that therapy come in at.
Speaker 1:There you go B.
Speaker 2:Hold on, I'm gonna go back.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. B self-awareness, self-awareness.
Speaker 2:Right there. That's what therapy come in at, though, because at the time I was like I don't care, you know he did whatever, but at the same time, I do have to understand that I was talking crazy to him. I didn't use to call him out his name, I didn't used to say what you slow, you know what I'm saying. I didn't used to say like stuff like that, and he didn't like that, you know.
Speaker 1:I don't like it either, because then she's like because I have to.
Speaker 3:I keep saying it, my mom, cause my mom had that masculine you know she had brothers, you know what I'm saying and stuff, and we had, she had a sister too, but she was the oldest so she had brothers, so I get that from her.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. And it never offended the people that she dated, so I just you right.
Speaker 3:I don't know, I was young, I don't but they kept coming back.
Speaker 2:So I don't know, but I just therapy really has helped. So for all black people, I feel like if your job offers therapy sessions for free, take your three sessions for free, Take passion. If you get therapy sessions through your you know health care for free, or whatever your insurance take the therapy, cause I'm telling y'all it really helps. I ain't I ain't half the person that I used to be Like I'm not. Y'all like I'm serious, like I'm so I'm so serious, like I'm not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I just kind of feel like it helps you get more in tune with yourself. And that's not to say that you're gonna go to therapy and you're gonna feel like I'm gonna change my ways. No, you may go to therapy and feel like, damn, I do do that, but I like it. You know what I'm saying Straight up. I know I do that shit and I like it, and this is the reason why I fucking do it. So I'm saying so. Now I have a greater appreciation for why I fucking do the shit. You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:So it's just more for you to get more in tune with yourself, because if you're not connected to yourself, how you ever gonna be connected to anybody else? True, you know what I'm saying? Like it's harder, it's harder for you to get connected to anybody else when you don't even realize who the fuck you are. Thanks, so yeah, that's it. I mean that's it and that's all. Ayo, I also wanna leave my fucks with this, one of my favorite Chicago MCs. I just heard him say this shit on a record. He said his name is Andres Haley.
Speaker 1:I got a lot of respect for this dude for the music that he put out. I think he dope as fuck. I think he's an authentic Chicago MC Just by the way he spit, the way he say shit. All that, he said I'd rather try and fail than not try and fail. He said I thought this shit was dope as hell when I first heard it. So I say all that to say this to anybody out there that feel like they wanna try something or they feel like they nervous at something think about that line I would rather try and fail than not try and fail. You see what I'm saying? Because either way it goes, if you don't fucking do it, you failed.
Speaker 1:You fucking failed.
Speaker 2:You see what I'm saying yeah and leave that part, and with that I do wanna put this. Add this onto it as well Stop letting the dream killers kill your dream as well, because you got people out here who they didn't make it. They didn't go and move out of town, New York, they didn't go and do those things. So when you tell them what you wanna do, they gonna try to kill your dream because they never peaked. Don't listen to them and stop talking to them. Only talk to the people. Talk about what you wanna do to people who are either doing what you're doing or are positive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that can give you some advice and be realistic with you. You know what I'm saying, but, like you said, the dream killers, don't fucking talk to them. Somebody can find you at B.
Speaker 2:You can find me on Facebook at Brandon Garrett, and you can find me on TikTok at BKarrington and Instagram at BKarrington.
Speaker 1:Hey, y'all, you can find me on Facebook, my song's Therav, s-t-a-r-a-w. Also at the Shit's Podcast that's S-H-I-T-T-S podcast. Also on Instagram, also on TikTok Y'all can make sure y'all can check out the Shit's Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, anywhere you get your podcasts. You can check us out there. Man, y'all, make sure y'all get your tickets for the 312 Music Awards happening March 10th. Yeah, and then also get your tickets for that celebrity basketball game, because my son, bryce Burnett, will be playing in that game showing off his talents.
Speaker 1:And, yeah, I wanna give mad shots out to the man himself, my man Decker Durris, making all this shit possible, not just with the podcast, but with the music, with the videos. This man got his hands and so much shit that has to do with Chicago and he will never take credit for it. So I always put it out there, give him credit for it. And, man, shout out to BKarrington for being a very, very dope and authentic cause, super dope. And hey, y'all, make sure y'all go get some therapy and shit, because some of the shit that I just heard B say today I'm fucking Trump time and we'll holler at y'all next week, y'all oh, I gotta leave y'all with this Make fans, not followers. Followers will get you clout, fans will get you work. Be positive, be passionate and be patient. Realize only thing that happens overnight is dreaming, slobbing. And then babies y'all, it was a shit podcast, y'all we out. Peace.